How to Live in Harmony With Kidults
Don't make a lack of privacy a reason for discord between you and your adult children. If they have to live at home, create a buffer zone
Susan Redman
31 March 2016
Houzz Australia Editorial Staff; writer, author, dreamer.
Whether your grown-up children are studying at uni or college, looking for work, or juggling jobs to try to save up enough money to get on their feet, young adults still at home need to feel like they are living somewhat independently. To live together yet apart, it’s best to set boundaries that allow both your ‘kidults’ and you some privacy. This can be done by creating a space within the family home that your son or daughter can call their own. Here are a few ways you can provide that privacy, by updating, expanding – even building – a place for your no-longer-little ones to live in segregated harmony with you.
Put your kids out back
One day, your children will leave the nest, but living in harmony with them now as young adults can be trying for both parents and their offspring. Create the privacy you both need and deserve by ensuring there are boundaries, both physical and social.
The easiest way to put a bit of distance between yourself and your grown-up child is to let them take up residence in your garden. If you don’t have a shed to convert, but do have enough space to erect a small granny flat, this might be the answer. Sure, there is an initial investment in building the structure, but you’ll no doubt increase the value of your home. And, if you charge your kidult a fair rent, you’ll not only recoup a good deal of your initial outlay, but also teach them to budget while saving.
One day, your children will leave the nest, but living in harmony with them now as young adults can be trying for both parents and their offspring. Create the privacy you both need and deserve by ensuring there are boundaries, both physical and social.
The easiest way to put a bit of distance between yourself and your grown-up child is to let them take up residence in your garden. If you don’t have a shed to convert, but do have enough space to erect a small granny flat, this might be the answer. Sure, there is an initial investment in building the structure, but you’ll no doubt increase the value of your home. And, if you charge your kidult a fair rent, you’ll not only recoup a good deal of your initial outlay, but also teach them to budget while saving.
Let them slip in through a side door
If your children are over 18, treat them like adults and give them the keys to the house. In fact, if there is a seldom-used side door, give them their own separate entrance. If you can, move rooms around so that your kidult’s room is now located near the side door. Let them furnish any corridor or entryway with their own gear to demarcate that this is now their part of the house. Small as it may be, giving them their own entry will be a significant concession they will love you for.
If your children are over 18, treat them like adults and give them the keys to the house. In fact, if there is a seldom-used side door, give them their own separate entrance. If you can, move rooms around so that your kidult’s room is now located near the side door. Let them furnish any corridor or entryway with their own gear to demarcate that this is now their part of the house. Small as it may be, giving them their own entry will be a significant concession they will love you for.
Carve out a cave downstairs
If your house is elevated or built on a slope, there may be an area beneath the house that could be turned into a living space. You’ll have to employ a builder to work out how this could be done cost-effectively and safely.
In the example of the converted basement pictured here, walls were removed in order to create a completely open space, including an area for a shower and wash basin (but with the exception of a private toilet). The basement apartment also has its own kitchenette, as well as plenty of built-in cupboards, storage and a sleeping area.
See more of this project
If your house is elevated or built on a slope, there may be an area beneath the house that could be turned into a living space. You’ll have to employ a builder to work out how this could be done cost-effectively and safely.
In the example of the converted basement pictured here, walls were removed in order to create a completely open space, including an area for a shower and wash basin (but with the exception of a private toilet). The basement apartment also has its own kitchenette, as well as plenty of built-in cupboards, storage and a sleeping area.
See more of this project
Furnish the garage
If you have a garage and are prepared to park your car elsewhere for a while, use this extra space for accommodation. As your son or daughter is no longer a kid, they can contribute to the garage makeover by cleaning it out, painting walls if needs be, and laying down some insulating floor coverings.
They should also be called upon to furnish their new pad, and possibly install some dividers (such as tall bookcases) to create a division between sleeping and living areas. Your grown-up child needs to feel like he or she can both be responsible for their own living quarters, and still have their independence.
If you have a garage and are prepared to park your car elsewhere for a while, use this extra space for accommodation. As your son or daughter is no longer a kid, they can contribute to the garage makeover by cleaning it out, painting walls if needs be, and laying down some insulating floor coverings.
They should also be called upon to furnish their new pad, and possibly install some dividers (such as tall bookcases) to create a division between sleeping and living areas. Your grown-up child needs to feel like he or she can both be responsible for their own living quarters, and still have their independence.
Convert the attic
Another place to accommodate grown children is in an attic. You may be surprised to find a whole new level to your home that was previously out of sight and therefore out of mind. It’s an ambitious project, but by utilising the roof void you can give your kidults their own living quarters on their own level. Make sure the access stairs are placed away from the centre of the home, so your children can come and go as they please without disturbing you.
Another place to accommodate grown children is in an attic. You may be surprised to find a whole new level to your home that was previously out of sight and therefore out of mind. It’s an ambitious project, but by utilising the roof void you can give your kidults their own living quarters on their own level. Make sure the access stairs are placed away from the centre of the home, so your children can come and go as they please without disturbing you.
Divide and conquer…
If there is nowhere in the home to extend or to squeeze out more space, move your kidult into the largest room in the house and put up a divider or two to section off the room into living, sleeping and study zones. This room may well be your own, so by giving it to your child you may feel like it’s spoiling them and counter-intuitive to getting them on their feet and eventually out of the house. But believe me, it may be the perfect temporary solution.
If there is nowhere in the home to extend or to squeeze out more space, move your kidult into the largest room in the house and put up a divider or two to section off the room into living, sleeping and study zones. This room may well be your own, so by giving it to your child you may feel like it’s spoiling them and counter-intuitive to getting them on their feet and eventually out of the house. But believe me, it may be the perfect temporary solution.
…and install a small kitchen
In the short term, giving over a larger space might offer your son or daughter the privacy they desire, and give you the peace of mind you crave. They can save and study, ask friends over and generally look after their own business.
In exchange, ask for either a small contribution in rent, help around the house, regular dinner dates or all of the above! If the bedroom has an ensuite, and you are prepared to install a small kitchenette along one wall, your adult child will be more or less self sufficient.
Small kitchens around the world
In the short term, giving over a larger space might offer your son or daughter the privacy they desire, and give you the peace of mind you crave. They can save and study, ask friends over and generally look after their own business.
In exchange, ask for either a small contribution in rent, help around the house, regular dinner dates or all of the above! If the bedroom has an ensuite, and you are prepared to install a small kitchenette along one wall, your adult child will be more or less self sufficient.
Small kitchens around the world
Knock down a wall
Consider giving your loved one an extra room adjacent to the bedroom they currently use. Both rooms can be accessed from the hallway, or if you feel your child may be staying with you indefinitely (perhaps a partner has moved in too), consider knocking down part of the wall between the two rooms and adding French doors for access. One room can be used for sleeping, and the other for a living space.
Consider giving your loved one an extra room adjacent to the bedroom they currently use. Both rooms can be accessed from the hallway, or if you feel your child may be staying with you indefinitely (perhaps a partner has moved in too), consider knocking down part of the wall between the two rooms and adding French doors for access. One room can be used for sleeping, and the other for a living space.
Save space with a foldaway bed
In order to convert your child’s room into a space worthy of their adult self, an update might be required. When looking at how to incorporate all the furniture that they now might need, a sofa and study area in particular, consider some clever ideas, such as a flip-down bed or a concealed study in a cupboard.
How to squeeze in guest space
In order to convert your child’s room into a space worthy of their adult self, an update might be required. When looking at how to incorporate all the furniture that they now might need, a sofa and study area in particular, consider some clever ideas, such as a flip-down bed or a concealed study in a cupboard.
How to squeeze in guest space
Build a bunker
No more space in the house or garden? Here’s a crazy idea: dig deep under a deck or in the backyard, and carve out a bunker. You’ll need the room reinforced with steel and stabilised with concrete, but with a few high-grade skylights made specifically for underground houses, you may well have just created the perfect ‘digs’! The room pictured here is actually just a lovely studio flat, but the layout could be used to design your own underworld abode, complete with secret door – see below!
No more space in the house or garden? Here’s a crazy idea: dig deep under a deck or in the backyard, and carve out a bunker. You’ll need the room reinforced with steel and stabilised with concrete, but with a few high-grade skylights made specifically for underground houses, you may well have just created the perfect ‘digs’! The room pictured here is actually just a lovely studio flat, but the layout could be used to design your own underworld abode, complete with secret door – see below!
Create an outdoor zone
If there’s nothing you can do to divide up the space inside the house, then consider creating a purpose-styled area for your kidults to hang outdoors. Fashion a small living area with tables and chairs and an all-weather rug that is off-limits to yourself and your cronies. An area under the house is ideal, but even stringing up a few hammocks will still give your children somewhere to hang out without you being around.
If there’s nothing you can do to divide up the space inside the house, then consider creating a purpose-styled area for your kidults to hang outdoors. Fashion a small living area with tables and chairs and an all-weather rug that is off-limits to yourself and your cronies. An area under the house is ideal, but even stringing up a few hammocks will still give your children somewhere to hang out without you being around.
TELL US
How do you make your house kidult-friendly? Share your ideas in the Comments section or join the discussion on our social media design dilemma: How to live with kidults?
MORE
Spreading Out: Where to Extend or Gain Space in Your House
8 Questions to Ask Before Converting a Bedroom Into a Bathroom
9 Subtle Ways to Make Your House a Teen-Friendly Hangout
How do you make your house kidult-friendly? Share your ideas in the Comments section or join the discussion on our social media design dilemma: How to live with kidults?
MORE
Spreading Out: Where to Extend or Gain Space in Your House
8 Questions to Ask Before Converting a Bedroom Into a Bathroom
9 Subtle Ways to Make Your House a Teen-Friendly Hangout
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My daughter took over the upstairs. One bedroom for them, one bedroom an office for her partner, one bedroom for their baby born whilst they were living with us waiting for their house to be built.
Only drawback - the 'office' room is still full of their junk that they don't want cluttering up their new house.
A lot of our clients choose our Melwood Cabanas as a solution to the problems listed above.
Whether you use it for storage, or for 'kidult space', a backyard cabana is the easy, fast, cost-effective and top-quality solution that just might solve all of your problems ;)
More Info Here
Both took/take care of their own rooms, keeping them clean and tidy, doing assigned housework if and when needed, and have friends over regularly. We all just have to get along, and it has taught us all to be fair, make compromises, communicate really well, and be responsible/accountable.
Not blowing my own whistle but my adult children are just fantastic!!!
P.s. I have sadness surrounding their plans to move out, but happy knowing they can cook clean and care for themselves.
Plus I have butler pantry plans for my daughters room once she leaves!!! Mwah ha ha ha ha!!! (Evil chuckle..)