Sorry to hear of your loss, M L, and my condolences to you. I would also choose my husband - he was brought up old-school and is very much the handyman. Only problem is - being an ex-engineer, he is extremely fastidious and has a tendency to over-engineer everything. Combined with the fact that he is very busy with work and has very little free time, our home renovation is taking absolutely foreeeeeeeeever (six years and counting)! No chance of us ever hiring a handyman - they would never do the job to his satisfaction, so he'd just end up ripping it all up and doing it again himself.

On the surface this subject raises quaint images of flowering vine-adorned little granny flats and harmonious extended families 'taking tea' together on the patio surrounded by grandchildren and laughter, visiting care-givers helping the elderly live at home with family, receiving visits from Caregiver services...everyone smiling...but wait, there's more. At a certain stage along the planning process a percentage of us fall foul of the expectations, hopes and idealistic scenarios and maybe, for some, that is because of religious upbringings..."honour they father and thy mother" etc. adding guilt to the already difficult decisions. Housing our elderlies is not an easy topic to bring up for discussion in public because there is no "one way" to address and resolve this issue. I felt that HOUZZ, was a good place to have a discussion about an otherwise difficult and emotional subject that many would be reluctant to approach. On deciding to tell a bit of my own experience I felt that it would open up an opportunity for others battling with the complexities of this problem. So, congrats to all the Houzzers who've had a go at telling their stories here and making the rest of us feel that we are not alone having to deal with this life-situation. Taking care of our elderlies is about much more than building them a comfy granny flat or putting on extentions to our own homes and its not about applying a "One size fits most" solution...( Would that it were all that easy!) I found that my religious upbringing, coupled with unhappy experiences had with my parent made my final decision ever so much more difficult despite that certain 'rules' no longer applied in my own life....or I thought they did not! I discovered that the religious expectations put on me in my childhood coupled with those of friends and family members had reared their heads from the distant past to make my decisions more difficult. I discovered the power of guilt! Mum did not practise her faith but the rules about children and parents were convenient, those indisputable, fearsome rules to enforce compliance and obedience...or else.... I will never forget the day she quoted her favourite "honour thy father and thy mother" at me just once too often after she'd exacted very severe discipline: : I'd found my indignation at being treated unfairly and, through my bloodied handkerchief I screamed : -"What if thy father and thy mother are not honourable ?" There was no answer to that question, no hour long lecture to reinforce the point. Again I paid dearly for my retort. This example to illustrate that domineering parents can be very cruel when they call to bear witness to their demnds any rationale that they have inculcated in their children from a religious perspective and a socio/ cultural perspective So - pondering on wheher we would house our elderlies ( probably meant to call for accomodation suggestions and financial solutions here on HOUZZ) for me, and maybe for others. brought out a dilemma I did not know was there...Obligation irrespectively and Guilt.....they are your parents no matter what. Maybe today I would have guarded more jealously the life I'd won for myself.

Hi SonaandDi, In case you haven't come across it, here is the link to my finished kitchen: https://www.houzz.com.au/discussions/5598603/renovation-of-our-1956-red-brick-triple-fronted-home-all-done This layout has the potential for issues, but I tried to factor those in by noting where the fridge doors came to when fully opened. I should have allowed a little more width for the fridge gap, as the theory didn't quite translate in practice: on the plans I allowed the minimum of 20mm either side of fridge, but ended up with only about 13mm (was not fun getting the fridge in!). So my suggestion is to make sure there is 50mm either side of fridge. eg the fridge space is 1000mm wide for french door fridge around the 900mm mark. Even so, my doors do open fully (vegie drawers slide out unobstructed), as the doors themselves sit forward of the nib wall on the right. If your fridge space is wider, you won't need to sit the fridge out the full thickness of the doors, which may look more streamlined. But make sure you allow for 50mm space at the back of fridge. This will decide the depth of your nib wall. I calculated mine as 50mm plus the depth of the fridge to the start of the doors. You might prefer to make it a bit deeper, as the doors have more room to open due to the extra width of the space. It isn't annoying having the door opening over the pantry entry. It isn't often that someone wants to get to the pantry at the exact moment someone else opens the fridge. Even if that happened, you could get past if you couldn't wait: Good luck with your renovation! Because you can't be on site, I would always factor in more wiggle room. Let me know if I can help with any more info - I could talk about this stuff all day long!

Hi and thanks for your feedback. The rear building might now move further around to the north of the !7 acre rural block (2+ hours from Melbourne), where there is a flatter patch. We are now hoping to make it 2 story, with the storage shed below and living above. That way the huge views to the south and east can be seen over the top of the house. The idea is to build the shed (with studio accom) hopefully at the end of 2020, as a place to stay while the house building starts towards the end of 2021, when we will have the funds, fingers crossed. The width of the building area is only about 30 metres before it dips away a bit steeply to the east and west. We hope to avoid too much excavating for a slab (for thermal mass) but may need to consider stumps if the slab is far more costly. Looking at Carbonlite floor system as a reluctant alternative... A local architect has done the initial design to maximise the views and northern sun. We think the slight kink in the middle will add complexity to the roof so the kink can go. It is a big 'entry' which might need to go to cut costs but we do want an 'air lock' entry... The hallway along the bedrooms is intended to warm up in winter, ideally trombe wall style. We hope to keep the house to about 150 sq meters- we don't need bigger. The council has indicated where the dispersal field for the septic tank needs to go... We love the reverse brick veneer principle. The architect has been fairly open to our ideas but says the budget will be tight at approx $3,500 per sq meter. How does an internal masonry spine work? We figured a continuous skillion roof would be simpler and cheaper- going for a rural shed look...