yep, these bricks were already ugly when first available and i would consider cladding the outside with Scyon or similar (like modern cement sheets) that will create a smooth finish that can be painted and looks like render but doesn't add a lot of extra thickness to the walls and can be used around windows although you may like to keep the tiled sills...luckily you could start with the most obvious front and back walls and do the sides as time and funds allow but if you have lots of spare cash it could be an opportunity to consider any changes to window or door openings and maybe add double glazing as well but always a better idea to live in the house for a while before making any changes

Have you considered painting the roof purple ? that way , people will look at the roof , go 'ewwww' , and the brick will be better in comparison haha !

On a more serious note , nothing really matches -- the gold window frames doesn't match the brown sills which don't match the bricks which doesn't match the cream render which doesn't match the unstained timber .

I'd waterblast everything as a first step , stain all the timber a charcoal , and although I don't think its a permanent fix ( it needs upkeep ) I'd be tempted to paint the rendered wall , and the bricks and possibly the windowsills , in an off-white . An expert may be able to confirm , but I'd be tempted to thin the off-white paint with water or turps ( depending on paint type ) and do say 3 thinner coats . You want to get the texture of the bricks , and if you get a slight brownish/yellowish tinge coming through , I don't think it would be a huge problem -- adds a bit of interest and character .

James Hardie have lots of different cladding options such as Sycon. check put Three Birds Renovations on youtube, instagram or their website, they‘ve used sycon, axon cladding etc

Thanks so much guys. Do you think cladding could even be done on such an inconsistent surface?? Whitewashing is a really interesting idea - i reckon that could look pretty good too.

There’s something odd about the window sills. Have you checked to see that the bricks aren’t covering some type of original surface?