Are Your Children Missing Out on Child's Play?
If your kids are turning on their videos games more than their own creativity, it may be time to foster more self-directed play
Alison Hodgson
5 February 2015
Houzz Contributor. Author of The Pug List: A Ridiculous Dog, a Family Who Lost Everything, and How They All Found Their Way Home http://alisonhodgson.net
Houzz Contributor. Author of The Pug List: A Ridiculous Dog, a Family Who Lost Everything,... More
As an introvert I have an approach to summer fun, and family activities in general, that could be described as relaxed or, if you’re less charitable, lazy. I’m committed to being charitable in all things, even personal, so let’s stick with ‘relaxed.’ Too many parents mistake childhood for an extended cruise and cast themselves as the activities’ directors. This is a mistake.
Raising humans is arduous enough, but adding the needless responsibility of providing your child’s entertainment is much too much. I want to raise the banner high, but this story is about lovingly doing less, so I’m going to lead by example. If you would like to join me in spirit, here are a few things to remember.
Raising humans is arduous enough, but adding the needless responsibility of providing your child’s entertainment is much too much. I want to raise the banner high, but this story is about lovingly doing less, so I’m going to lead by example. If you would like to join me in spirit, here are a few things to remember.
What do you see? Two little girls and a pug perched on a wall of boulders? Wrong. That’s an ice cream stand in its third season of business.
1. Creativity comes from constraints
Overloading our homes and outdoor spaces with toys can have a crippling effect on our children’s imaginations. I love playhouses, but when I see elaborate ones filled with so much stuff – even electronics – I wonder if it’s more for the adults than the child.
Give your child the raw materials of play – in your backyard or at a park – and watch imagination take over. When I was 6 or 7, on a visit to the beach, I made a tiny house from driftwood, sand, beach glass and dune grass. I played by myself for a blissful hour and, clearly, still remember it today.
The roots of trees are another wonderful foundation for the young home builder.
More: Eco-Friendly Kids: Inspire Your Children With the Wonders of Nature
1. Creativity comes from constraints
Overloading our homes and outdoor spaces with toys can have a crippling effect on our children’s imaginations. I love playhouses, but when I see elaborate ones filled with so much stuff – even electronics – I wonder if it’s more for the adults than the child.
Give your child the raw materials of play – in your backyard or at a park – and watch imagination take over. When I was 6 or 7, on a visit to the beach, I made a tiny house from driftwood, sand, beach glass and dune grass. I played by myself for a blissful hour and, clearly, still remember it today.
The roots of trees are another wonderful foundation for the young home builder.
More: Eco-Friendly Kids: Inspire Your Children With the Wonders of Nature
Our hill was only dirt when we moved in, but it didn’t keep my daughter Eden and her cousin Ren from immediately setting up shop.
2. Let them make a mess
The best play usually involves dirt, sand, water and rocks.
When I was a kid my dad built my siblings and me a big sandpit that was also deep.The four of us all could play, usually one to a corner. We would dig down at least a foot and a half and create large cities with tunnels. We had shovels and trucks, but our own hands were the main tools, and twigs and leaves our only accessories. Do you know the lovely feeling of digging a tunnel, delicately excavating and packing and finally being able to slide your arm in the cool depths?
I can only imagine the gritty mess the four of us tracked in day after day – my poor mother!
2. Let them make a mess
The best play usually involves dirt, sand, water and rocks.
When I was a kid my dad built my siblings and me a big sandpit that was also deep.The four of us all could play, usually one to a corner. We would dig down at least a foot and a half and create large cities with tunnels. We had shovels and trucks, but our own hands were the main tools, and twigs and leaves our only accessories. Do you know the lovely feeling of digging a tunnel, delicately excavating and packing and finally being able to slide your arm in the cool depths?
I can only imagine the gritty mess the four of us tracked in day after day – my poor mother!
The ice cream shop. So that’s why Eden wanted to know where the package of food dyes was! They also picked and crushed berries to create a “topping.”
3. Welcome collections
To gather objects is a natural compulsion. Collections kept outdoors are no big deal, but some are more delicate and need to come inside. Dedicate a shelf or tray for treasured indoor collections to keep things neat and contained.
To gather objects is a natural compulsion. Collections kept outdoors are no big deal, but some are more delicate and need to come inside. Dedicate a shelf or tray for treasured indoor collections to keep things neat and contained.
No time is too early to go out and play. In the summer we don’t always get dressed first!
4. Dress them for success
Allow your children to wear clothes they can get dirty without worry. When my firstborn was a toddler, I dressed him to nines even until someone mentioned: “You gotta get Christopher some play clothes.” In my defence, I didn’t care if Christopher made a mess, but still. Who wants to play with Little Lord Fauntleroy or the politician from wherever?
4. Dress them for success
Allow your children to wear clothes they can get dirty without worry. When my firstborn was a toddler, I dressed him to nines even until someone mentioned: “You gotta get Christopher some play clothes.” In my defence, I didn’t care if Christopher made a mess, but still. Who wants to play with Little Lord Fauntleroy or the politician from wherever?
5. Give them space
Children need to be supervised, of course, but even when you need to keep a constant eye on them, you can afford them mental room. Allow your child time to think quietly and play alone, especially if this is a challenge for him or her. The child who is constantly begging you, “Play with me!” (and I don’t mean an ignored child, but one who can’t handle a second without outside stimulation) needs to develop some attentive muscles, just as a less athletic child may need to exert himself or herself physically.
The ability to occupy oneself is a life skill that is becoming less and less common and infinitely more precious.
So kick back and relax – you may need practice if you’re all twitchy and exhausted from hyper-involvement, but stick with it and watch your children and their creativity grow.
TELL US
How do your kids keep themselves entertained? Share your stories below
MORE INSPIRATION
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Children need to be supervised, of course, but even when you need to keep a constant eye on them, you can afford them mental room. Allow your child time to think quietly and play alone, especially if this is a challenge for him or her. The child who is constantly begging you, “Play with me!” (and I don’t mean an ignored child, but one who can’t handle a second without outside stimulation) needs to develop some attentive muscles, just as a less athletic child may need to exert himself or herself physically.
The ability to occupy oneself is a life skill that is becoming less and less common and infinitely more precious.
So kick back and relax – you may need practice if you’re all twitchy and exhausted from hyper-involvement, but stick with it and watch your children and their creativity grow.
TELL US
How do your kids keep themselves entertained? Share your stories below
MORE INSPIRATION
Stylish Ways to Display Your Children’s Art
Discovery Gardens: 15 Ideas to Let Kids’ Imaginations Run Wild
De-Stress Your Kids by Organising Your Home
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Rachel
Oh for the good old days when I was young. We'd get up and throw on our bathing suits on the hot days and shorts and tees for the cooler days. Spent the days roaming through the fields and the sand hill. Ran down to the river to wash up before bed. Came in only for food and bed time. TV was for extreme weather only - books and comics were our choice of quiet entertainment. My only wish is that my children could have spent their summers the same way.
We, and our neighborhood friends spent all summer, weekends and holidays playing outside. I grew up in the Bay area and it was about 1/2 mile to the dike so we could ride our bikes to coyote point park. Our parents never worried about us. TV was maybe 2 hours of cartoons on Saturday morning and afternoon dinner until an early bedtime. No staying up until 11. We also read, a habit I still have. Compulsion might be a better term for that.
I got a fish hook caught in my finger at the marina up there and the guy in charge of the marina tried getting it out with no luck. My mom thanked him when she came to get me. Can you imagine something like that happening today? They'd be too scared of the lawsuit or, even worse accusations. I have a terrific step-daughter who takes our grandchildren camping during the summer and they play outside. Thank goodness for rural living.