Comforting and Non-Confronting Ways to Beat the Christmas Blues
Compassion and generosity – to yourself as well as others – will make this Christmas one you want to remember
It may be a magical time of the year, but Christmas can also come with unmet expectations and a heightened sense of loneliness, especially when your circumstances have changed during the year – your children have moved out, you’ve split up with your spouse, lost a job or close friend, or you’ve relocated.
Australian sociologist and psychologist Hugh Mackay says Christmas can be a dark time of year, particularly for those prone to feeling socially isolated. “Social isolation can very easily morph into feelings of social exclusion. Social exclusion can very easily morph into feelings of social alienation, and that’s when it becomes really emotionally dangerous for people,” Mackay says.
But there are plenty of ways to bring the joy of Christmas to life in your own home – even if you live alone – and to those in your community who may be doing it tough. Read on for some spirit-lifting inspiration.
Australian sociologist and psychologist Hugh Mackay says Christmas can be a dark time of year, particularly for those prone to feeling socially isolated. “Social isolation can very easily morph into feelings of social exclusion. Social exclusion can very easily morph into feelings of social alienation, and that’s when it becomes really emotionally dangerous for people,” Mackay says.
But there are plenty of ways to bring the joy of Christmas to life in your own home – even if you live alone – and to those in your community who may be doing it tough. Read on for some spirit-lifting inspiration.
Lend a helping hand
If it’s you who is on your own, planning ahead for a fun or meaningful Christmas Day is well worth the effort to ward off the blues.
“Volunteering over Christmas can be very uplifting, especially when you help people who are doing it tough,” says Jon Dee, managing director of Do Something Near You, a portal of volunteer opportunities searchable by postcode. “Local soup kitchens and churches often need volunteers for community initiatives over the festive period. Call them up to see if they need help or visit the Do Something site.”
Arranging to drop into an aged care facility or hospital to chat with residents or patients who may be feeling alone themselves is another idea that’s easy to achieve. A smile and some conversation could turn an ordinary Christmas Day into one of your most memorable ones. If you’re not feeling especially social, why not help out at your local RSPCA shelter and connect with pets rather than people? The animals won’t know it’s Christmas, but you will, and what better way to spend the day than playing with cats and interacting with dogs in need of some TLC?
If nothing else, consider attending a Christmas service at your local church – no matter your own religious beliefs – and raise your voice during the carols. Singing is a joyous way to give your spirits a lift!
If it’s you who is on your own, planning ahead for a fun or meaningful Christmas Day is well worth the effort to ward off the blues.
“Volunteering over Christmas can be very uplifting, especially when you help people who are doing it tough,” says Jon Dee, managing director of Do Something Near You, a portal of volunteer opportunities searchable by postcode. “Local soup kitchens and churches often need volunteers for community initiatives over the festive period. Call them up to see if they need help or visit the Do Something site.”
Arranging to drop into an aged care facility or hospital to chat with residents or patients who may be feeling alone themselves is another idea that’s easy to achieve. A smile and some conversation could turn an ordinary Christmas Day into one of your most memorable ones. If you’re not feeling especially social, why not help out at your local RSPCA shelter and connect with pets rather than people? The animals won’t know it’s Christmas, but you will, and what better way to spend the day than playing with cats and interacting with dogs in need of some TLC?
If nothing else, consider attending a Christmas service at your local church – no matter your own religious beliefs – and raise your voice during the carols. Singing is a joyous way to give your spirits a lift!
Adopt a new best friend
The good news is that more pets in need than ever are being adopted each year. The bad news is that the number of pets being dumped at shelters skyrockets at this time of year. If you’re on your own and your circumstances allow, consider adopting a furry companion to keep you company or adding one more to your family. Loneliness could become a thing of the past.
Dogs also bring the benefit of facilitating human interaction – they get you out of the house and engaging with other dog lovers at the dog park or even walking down the street – pets are the ultimate conversation starter!
The good news is that more pets in need than ever are being adopted each year. The bad news is that the number of pets being dumped at shelters skyrockets at this time of year. If you’re on your own and your circumstances allow, consider adopting a furry companion to keep you company or adding one more to your family. Loneliness could become a thing of the past.
Dogs also bring the benefit of facilitating human interaction – they get you out of the house and engaging with other dog lovers at the dog park or even walking down the street – pets are the ultimate conversation starter!
Spoil yourself on Christmas Day
If you’re spending Christmas alone, it can be helpful to remind yourself of all the family dramas you’re missing – Relationships Australia says Christmas is right up there with divorce and moving house as far as life’s most stressful events go. Instead, enjoy the peace and quiet and turn the day into something special – buy yourself a gift you’ve long been wanting and open it on Christmas Day; make yourself a special breakfast; take a long walk in the park; lose yourself in a hobby you rarely have time for; or open an exceptional bottle of wine and savour it over a Netflix binge – whatever turns your day into a special treat. Avoid overindulging in alcohol, however – it can contribute to stress, anxiety and depression.
If you’re spending Christmas alone, it can be helpful to remind yourself of all the family dramas you’re missing – Relationships Australia says Christmas is right up there with divorce and moving house as far as life’s most stressful events go. Instead, enjoy the peace and quiet and turn the day into something special – buy yourself a gift you’ve long been wanting and open it on Christmas Day; make yourself a special breakfast; take a long walk in the park; lose yourself in a hobby you rarely have time for; or open an exceptional bottle of wine and savour it over a Netflix binge – whatever turns your day into a special treat. Avoid overindulging in alcohol, however – it can contribute to stress, anxiety and depression.
Do a digital detox
Relationships Australia says there is a direct relationship between social isolation and depression, along with lower levels of self-worth and poor physical health. People who feel socially isolated, and who lack quality social support, are at greater risk of developing coronary heart disease.
It’s a great idea to reach out to friends and family by phone or online to share season’s greetings, but attempting to feel more connected via social media can actually make you feel worse. Fear of missing out, or the assumption that everyone is happy and having a great time except you, can exacerbate feelings of loneliness.
10 Ways to Show Friends You Care
Relationships Australia says there is a direct relationship between social isolation and depression, along with lower levels of self-worth and poor physical health. People who feel socially isolated, and who lack quality social support, are at greater risk of developing coronary heart disease.
It’s a great idea to reach out to friends and family by phone or online to share season’s greetings, but attempting to feel more connected via social media can actually make you feel worse. Fear of missing out, or the assumption that everyone is happy and having a great time except you, can exacerbate feelings of loneliness.
10 Ways to Show Friends You Care
Try a little kindness
A Relationships Australia survey of 1980 people this year found about a third of people often feel like they lack companionship. More than a third also reported often feeling isolated, while around 43 per cent reported that they felt isolated some of the time.
The Christmas period is the most likely time of the year for many people to experience anxiety and depression, particularly those who are divorced, have experienced a death in the family or are socially isolated, according to Relationships Australia.
Those living in separated, blended or stepfamilies can face significant challenges at this time of year, with many separated or divorced parents find themselves spending Christmas Day alone.
CEO of R U OK?, Brendan Maher, says the pain of losing loved ones or being estranged or away from family can become even greater for people when they’re surrounded by so much talk and so many plans for family holidays and gatherings. “When someone is going through a rough patch it can be hard to know what to do for them,” he told Houzz. “So often we’ll do nothing. But small acts of kindness can make a big difference, like asking the question, ‘Are you ok?’ This simple act says you’re not alone; you belong; you’re part of the community.”
A Relationships Australia survey of 1980 people this year found about a third of people often feel like they lack companionship. More than a third also reported often feeling isolated, while around 43 per cent reported that they felt isolated some of the time.
The Christmas period is the most likely time of the year for many people to experience anxiety and depression, particularly those who are divorced, have experienced a death in the family or are socially isolated, according to Relationships Australia.
Those living in separated, blended or stepfamilies can face significant challenges at this time of year, with many separated or divorced parents find themselves spending Christmas Day alone.
CEO of R U OK?, Brendan Maher, says the pain of losing loved ones or being estranged or away from family can become even greater for people when they’re surrounded by so much talk and so many plans for family holidays and gatherings. “When someone is going through a rough patch it can be hard to know what to do for them,” he told Houzz. “So often we’ll do nothing. But small acts of kindness can make a big difference, like asking the question, ‘Are you ok?’ This simple act says you’re not alone; you belong; you’re part of the community.”
Meet a stranger, make a friend
A brilliant idea for orphans of all persuasions – whether you’re alone at Christmas because you’re estranged from family members, living far from home, or facing changed family circumstances – is an Australian initiative called Orphan Christmas. Those wanting to join others for Christmas lunch can sign up on the site as being available to attend, or you can volunteer to host a gathering yourself. Easy!
Tell us
Do you have anyone you reach out to at Christmas, or can the holidays be a particularly hard time for you? Share your experiences with other Houzzers in the Comments. And if you found this story helpful, like it, bookmark it, save the photos and share your thoughts below. Join the conversation.
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A brilliant idea for orphans of all persuasions – whether you’re alone at Christmas because you’re estranged from family members, living far from home, or facing changed family circumstances – is an Australian initiative called Orphan Christmas. Those wanting to join others for Christmas lunch can sign up on the site as being available to attend, or you can volunteer to host a gathering yourself. Easy!
Tell us
Do you have anyone you reach out to at Christmas, or can the holidays be a particularly hard time for you? Share your experiences with other Houzzers in the Comments. And if you found this story helpful, like it, bookmark it, save the photos and share your thoughts below. Join the conversation.
More
Enjoy more lifestyle stories
Feeling alienated in your own street is a major problem in all capital cities of Australia, and increasingly in regional cities too, simply because people don’t know their neighbours. Mackay cites an Edith Cowan University study that found only 35 per cent of Australians say they trust their neighbours. “That cannot possibly mean that 65 per cent are untrustworthy; what it means is we don’t know our neighbours well enough to know if we can trust them,” he says.
“The huge responsibility we all ought to bear willingly is to make sure there’s no one in our street who’s going to be on their own at Christmas,” Mackay says. “Families can be very selfish at Christmas, saying ‘This is just for us really’, but if there’s a lady at the end of your street who’s going to be on her own, what about asking her in? What about saying to someone, ‘Would you like to spend Christmas with us?’ or at least ‘Come for a drink’ or even ‘We’ll come for a drink with you’.”
Mackay, the author of The Art of Belonging, says organising a drinks party for the street is an effective way of connecting with neighbours who may be feeling isolated. “They might decline the invitation, but at least they know that we’re open to having them join in.”
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