Rat-a-Tat-Tat: A Short Story About an Uninvited Guest

Love to entertain over summer but worry that things may go awry? Rest assured, it could never be as bad as this...

Melissa Maddison 30 January 2021

Houzz Australia Contributor. I love hunting for interesting things, finding unusual treasures, then bringing them home and displaying them in a unique way.

Houzz Australia Contributor. I love hunting for interesting things, finding unusual... More

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My name is Melissa Maddison and this is a story about a furry friend that came to dinner…

Pilcher Residential

I love a barbecue. Not just the actual barbecue food, but the ritual that I have when we are preparing for one. I relish spreading a pretty tablecloth, setting the table, using all my lovingly collected mismatched crockery, shining up my daily knives and forks, and always preparing too much food. All of this brings me great joy.

My house is tidy, I look like an organised and ‘together’ woman, which is really not what I feel like most of the time. My cupboard doors remain closed, all the better to hide the chaos that lurks inside their dark recesses and surfaces are swept and mopped and dusted. Alas, one cannot control everything, especially when one chooses to dine outside, in a backyard inner-city garden.

The Yellow Cape Cod

Luckily, the friends who were with us on the fateful night also live within close range of the city, and all that it entails. Dare I mention tails.

Recently we had been visited by a rat. No doubt he had a friend as well; they are social creatures after all. Despite owning a vocal and annoying cat, as well as a so-called ‘working dog’, the rat remained elusive to capture. He had even started to become bolder. He appeared in daylight hours, and needed more than just the smell and sight of an approaching human to scurry away in fear. In fact, I hadn’t seen him scurry even once. He sauntered, without haste, back to his unmentionable hidey-hole somewhere on the fence-line of our garden. That very day, he had made his presence known at least once, and required a manual scaring away that involved much stamping and shaking of arms and hands. I was beginning to think the rat may be deaf, or blind, or both.

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Design-Apart

Nevertheless, we decided to entertain. I warned my friends that we had seen a rat in our yard. They regaled us with their tales of the very same thing in their yard as well. I felt reassured. Their rat was also fearless, had appeared in daylight, and wasn’t scared of their dog either.

The night was lovely. The food superb. My husband had smoked two chickens on the barbecue and was really honing his barbecue skills. I was proud. My salads and sides were delicious and complemented the delicate flavours of the poultry. Oh it was all a triumph!

Luigi Rosselli Architects

After dinner, a congenial and loud affair, I went into the kitchen to prepare the dessert (an apple and blackberry crumble with a natural yoghurt or ice cream if you’d prefer). My lovely friend followed me in, the children disappeared and my husband and his mate stayed outside at the table to talk.

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NATIVE Design Workshop

Minutes later I appeared at the back door, hot crumble in hand, smile on face. Both men looked pale. I asked what was wrong. My husband pointed. Rat (or Scar, as my son had affectionately named him) was staring at me, whilst sitting on the table. He waited patiently for me to put the crumble down, no doubt a favourite of his. There was no scurrying, no backtracking from whence he came. It took a blood curdling scream from my own mouth to get rid of him, accompanied with yelling and clapping from other horrified members of the fateful barbecue.

Needless to say, we adjourned to the kitchen bench. When I had recovered, and the guests had stopped simultaneously laughing and being horrified, we ate the crumble. Traps were set the very next day, humane ones of course, and we haven’t seen our furry friend since.

The crumble was delicious by the way.

Imperfect Interiors

Your turn
Have you ever been visited by an uninvited furry friend at home? Tell us all about it in the Comments below and join the club. And while you’re at it, like this story, save the images and join the conversation.

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Melissa Maddison

@houseout - we sure don’t! I just don’t like it when they come to dinner😀!

Like 3 February 2021 at 10:35am

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Brenda Spillane

Great story! I love the fact the dog and cat did nothnig!

My story- was one late night, when i was livinhg at home, around 18 years old, I was in bed in the middle of winter with the doona on and up, reading my book. Then i saw a little flicker in the corner of my eye, it was a little brown field mouse that had crawled up the doona and peaked his head over the edge to stare at me. Of course I screamed and he scurried away into the build in- I didnt sleep the rest of the night!

3 Likes 3 February 2021 at 11:06am

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