We Are Framily: How to Build a Fabulous Friendship Group
You can't choose your family, but you can choose your framily... here's how to create one of your own
I always wanted a sister. I wished and hoped and begged for one as a child, and even now I’m openly envious when friends tell me about their fabulous, sister-filled weekends. If I’d had a sister, we’d have been best friends, I tell myself. We’d be there for one another in good times and bad, our kids would grow up together, we’d hang out on a whim.
There’s no such thing as the perfect family, of course – sisters and brothers don’t always get along, families drift apart, disagreements arise, lives end. No matter what your family situation is, however, having a sense of family in your life is well worth pursuing. That feeling of togetherness, community and connection is the stuff that enriches lives – sister or no. Is it time your favourite friends became your framily?
There’s no such thing as the perfect family, of course – sisters and brothers don’t always get along, families drift apart, disagreements arise, lives end. No matter what your family situation is, however, having a sense of family in your life is well worth pursuing. That feeling of togetherness, community and connection is the stuff that enriches lives – sister or no. Is it time your favourite friends became your framily?
Be the instigator
If you’re happily partnered, you’re busy raising children, and/or you’re focused on your business or career, building a framily may not be high on your agenda. But should it be? It isn’t how often you get together that can enrich your life – it’s the connection you feel when you do. Make time for friends you value, lighten up and laugh, do something silly together.
Children leave home, marriages end, lives change – sometimes the only thing that remains a constant is framily. Be the one who extends invitations and makes time for the great people in your life – the effort you put into fostering friendships will pay off now and into the future, no question.
If you’re happily partnered, you’re busy raising children, and/or you’re focused on your business or career, building a framily may not be high on your agenda. But should it be? It isn’t how often you get together that can enrich your life – it’s the connection you feel when you do. Make time for friends you value, lighten up and laugh, do something silly together.
Children leave home, marriages end, lives change – sometimes the only thing that remains a constant is framily. Be the one who extends invitations and makes time for the great people in your life – the effort you put into fostering friendships will pay off now and into the future, no question.
Celebrate good times and show you care
Letting your friends know you value them can be as simple as taking photos of the times you spend together, and not just sharing them on social media but putting them up in your home. Cram the front of the fridge full of pictures or create a feel-good gallery like this one.
Letting your friends know you value them can be as simple as taking photos of the times you spend together, and not just sharing them on social media but putting them up in your home. Cram the front of the fridge full of pictures or create a feel-good gallery like this one.
Unite over common interests
Not all framily members have to like the same things, but it helps if there are things you can do together that generate joy for each of you. Do you like gardening? Spend one day a month helping in another’s garden – a regular working bee. Rock climbing more your thing? Take turns to pick where you’ll embark on your next adventure.
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Not all framily members have to like the same things, but it helps if there are things you can do together that generate joy for each of you. Do you like gardening? Spend one day a month helping in another’s garden – a regular working bee. Rock climbing more your thing? Take turns to pick where you’ll embark on your next adventure.
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Foodie friends have it easy – take turns picking the restaurant, hold a monthly dinner party, share recipes you stumble upon that you know a friend would love.
Plan ahead
Life is busy, for both you and your friends, so it pays to map out your together times well in advance. Show up no matter what, if you really want to show you care. The friends that do the same for you are telling you they’re framily.
Beat the Sunday-Night Blues and Kickstart Your Working Week
Life is busy, for both you and your friends, so it pays to map out your together times well in advance. Show up no matter what, if you really want to show you care. The friends that do the same for you are telling you they’re framily.
Beat the Sunday-Night Blues and Kickstart Your Working Week
Make it low key
Getting together doesn’t always have to involve spending money, going out, or late nights (and hangovers). Impromptu gatherings to watch a movie, share an easy meal, or have a game of ping-pong can be the spice of life.
Getting together doesn’t always have to involve spending money, going out, or late nights (and hangovers). Impromptu gatherings to watch a movie, share an easy meal, or have a game of ping-pong can be the spice of life.
Introduce friends to friends
If you have some favourite friends who don’t know each other, why not make a point of bringing them together? Chances are, they’ll like each other as much you like each of them, and you’re one step closer to building a framily.
If you have some favourite friends who don’t know each other, why not make a point of bringing them together? Chances are, they’ll like each other as much you like each of them, and you’re one step closer to building a framily.
Honour their place in your life
Acknowledging birthdays and other milestones in the lives of your framily members is an easy way to show you love them. And be sure to be the one who shows up when times get tough. Drop in with flowers, check in more often to lend an ear or, if they don’t feel like talking, be the one willing to sit with them in companionable silence. Putting their needs before your own is what makes a good friend great.
Acknowledging birthdays and other milestones in the lives of your framily members is an easy way to show you love them. And be sure to be the one who shows up when times get tough. Drop in with flowers, check in more often to lend an ear or, if they don’t feel like talking, be the one willing to sit with them in companionable silence. Putting their needs before your own is what makes a good friend great.
Be the friend you’d love to have
Keep secrets, reserve judgement, accept differences, celebrate their wins, and talk about your besties with respect when they’re not around – this is what true friendship is all about.
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Keep secrets, reserve judgement, accept differences, celebrate their wins, and talk about your besties with respect when they’re not around – this is what true friendship is all about.
Browse dining room photos
Include partners, pets and kids
It’s fun to get together without the distraction of the other important people and animals in your friends’ lives – it’s nice having your friends all to yourself, after all – but getting together as a group now and then will gradually make you feel like one big framily (furry friends and all), even if your gatherings happen just a couple of times a year.
Your say
Do you have a framily? Tell us how it came about in the Comments, and be sure to like, bookmark or share this story. Join the conversation!
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It’s fun to get together without the distraction of the other important people and animals in your friends’ lives – it’s nice having your friends all to yourself, after all – but getting together as a group now and then will gradually make you feel like one big framily (furry friends and all), even if your gatherings happen just a couple of times a year.
Your say
Do you have a framily? Tell us how it came about in the Comments, and be sure to like, bookmark or share this story. Join the conversation!
More
Read more lifestyle stories
If you like the idea of building a framily, you’ll be joining leagues of others on a similar quest. It’s no coincidence that the Macquarie Dictionary People’s Choice for the 2017 Word of the Year was ‘framily’, defined as “a group of people who are not related by blood but who constitute an intimate network”.
Surrounding yourself with positive people who accept you for who you are and feel good to be around is the first step – and that may mean putting some distance between you and friends who don’t fit the criteria.
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