White-tail spider in my track suit pants WHICH I WAS WEARING! I thought it was a lump of lint from the laundry, drew it out, and promptly flung it across the room once I realised... never to be seen again! How it didn't bite me and sat still to be picked up, I don't know - it must have known I wouldn't do it any harm. We lived in lots of country places, too... We were invaded by small black crickets one year, and lady bugs, another year, in your drawers, in your hair, in your pantry, in your undies... everywhere! And then the blue tongue lizard that would go in and out with our dogs via doggie door, and made itself a nest in our laundry... I gave up and left some old towels for it. Had an echidna get up into the wheel well of our car... wild brumbies in our patio... the list goes on. My husband still says that the most unwelcome visitor was his mother... I like her better than he does!

We too have a collection which includes ones the kids made at school & are used along with new ones added now and again. The tree has morphed from a real Norfolk Island pine to a rather large fake pine to a small potted native plant & back to a smaller fake pine. No colour scheme apart from there has to be twinkling lights.

On the surface this subject raises quaint images of flowering vine-adorned little granny flats and harmonious extended families 'taking tea' together on the patio surrounded by grandchildren and laughter, visiting care-givers helping the elderly live at home with family, receiving visits from Caregiver services...everyone smiling...but wait, there's more. At a certain stage along the planning process a percentage of us fall foul of the expectations, hopes and idealistic scenarios and maybe, for some, that is because of religious upbringings..."honour they father and thy mother" etc. adding guilt to the already difficult decisions. Housing our elderlies is not an easy topic to bring up for discussion in public because there is no "one way" to address and resolve this issue. I felt that HOUZZ, was a good place to have a discussion about an otherwise difficult and emotional subject that many would be reluctant to approach. On deciding to tell a bit of my own experience I felt that it would open up an opportunity for others battling with the complexities of this problem. So, congrats to all the Houzzers who've had a go at telling their stories here and making the rest of us feel that we are not alone having to deal with this life-situation. Taking care of our elderlies is about much more than building them a comfy granny flat or putting on extentions to our own homes and its not about applying a "One size fits most" solution...( Would that it were all that easy!) I found that my religious upbringing, coupled with unhappy experiences had with my parent made my final decision ever so much more difficult despite that certain 'rules' no longer applied in my own life....or I thought they did not! I discovered that the religious expectations put on me in my childhood coupled with those of friends and family members had reared their heads from the distant past to make my decisions more difficult. I discovered the power of guilt! Mum did not practise her faith but the rules about children and parents were convenient, those indisputable, fearsome rules to enforce compliance and obedience...or else.... I will never forget the day she quoted her favourite "honour thy father and thy mother" at me just once too often after she'd exacted very severe discipline: : I'd found my indignation at being treated unfairly and, through my bloodied handkerchief I screamed : -"What if thy father and thy mother are not honourable ?" There was no answer to that question, no hour long lecture to reinforce the point. Again I paid dearly for my retort. This example to illustrate that domineering parents can be very cruel when they call to bear witness to their demnds any rationale that they have inculcated in their children from a religious perspective and a socio/ cultural perspective So - pondering on wheher we would house our elderlies ( probably meant to call for accomodation suggestions and financial solutions here on HOUZZ) for me, and maybe for others. brought out a dilemma I did not know was there...Obligation irrespectively and Guilt.....they are your parents no matter what. Maybe today I would have guarded more jealously the life I'd won for myself.

My darling mother never had money for "decorating" and I can't remember anything new as all belongings were made up of a collection of cast off, second hand and recycled bits and pieces that she scrubbed and polished, repainted and recovered but it looked and felt warm and inviting and the house and garden were always full of flowers. Her pride and joy was the Moroccan tile inspired splashback that she made out of some old wrapping paper, carefuly cut to fit and varnished to make it waterproof...meant to last only 'til she saved up for real tiles it was the starting point for the colours of paint and curtains and cushions and rugs and was only reluctantly replaced years later when the paper finally disintegrated but, nothing ever looked or felt so perfect...many more years later i think of her when I have to decide between a loved old piece of junk and having the option to choose something new and i'm afraid the scruffy usually wins