I'm with Olivia on this one.

My Nonna always lived with us which I loved, it also meant mum was free to work more because there was someone home to take care of my sister and I when we were young. I feel I gained a far greater understanding of my family history and having a second mum was awesome!

So many Italian cooking and language lessons were forced upon me, but like most things you appreciate them more with age.

Multi-Gen Homes for the win!

Hrrmph. Everything depends on whether the older generation had a choice about the younger one moving in. I know more than a few people who arent thrilled with the extra cost and work involved in having adult kids moving back home.

Helps if the house is a reasonable size with more than one living and bathroom, so everyone can get away when they need! Also like any shared living arrangement, it's a give and take.

I believe that the family is the peacemaking unit of the world. The more families that can stick together and live peacefully the better! if we can learn to get along with our families, different ages, stages, generations then ideally we can live peacefully with anyone!

I am all for a multigenerational family and these are the things I think are needed to make it work. I grew up up with a grandparent at home and have lived with adult parents. I would love multiple generations together but its a work in progress.... building healthy strong intergenerational relationships needs to come first.

From personal experience the older generation needs to accept the shift in power and responsibility and allow the younger generation a chance to stand on their own ground. If they are too controlling it is stifling... Parents and children need to develop a new relationship as adults, if this has not happened it will be very difficult. If the parents have not allowed their child to be the adult they are and not the child they remember then it creates a lot of problems. There needs to be plenty of respect for each other.

There has to be a lot of acceptance of people for who they are good and bad. You need to be clear about responsibilities, expectations and boundaries. This prevents disunity brewing... if people start to resent their contribution to the household or feel used it doesn't work. Money can be a real issue, sadly. Its important to be very clear about fiscal arrangements. Money should not be something that is used for control and power. You have to be very generous and willing to give a lot.

It depends on the personalities involved.

Great topic, Amy!

Well said fianou, we were fortunate to be able to live with both sets of in-laws during our home building years. The shared meals, shared child rearing, shared spaces, and the ability to get ahead with support were invaluable to all concerned. We would not have been able to get ahead without their generous sharing of their homes and even though there were times when things were tense, ultimately the experience made us closer.

We are now able to offer our kids the same (3 live away with partners or interstate) but they are different, not settling down until they have travelled etc. and much less traditional. Our impromptu dinner with 3 of our 4 adult kids last night was better than anything else to us, daughter stayed the night & time together at brekkie was great to catch up. Dinner was just a mock up & nothing fancy, just quality time together & a rare thing these days.

Parents would never say no to their siblings. I know my sister moved in with my mum and it was a nightmare for my mum and dad, although neither would ever say it to her. My sister was always moving things around and telling mum what she should eat etc. I know she thought she was helping mum, but as you get older, you're settled in your way etc. Mum & Dad ended up always arguing, but would never say why. My sister always got involved and made matters worse, as dad thought he had no say. Their life was no more. I have 7 siblings and my parents would tell the rest of us how their life had changed, we saw how they hated their domain and comforts being taken over, but as parents they just put up with it out of love and wanting to help their own. I think if they can afford to rent a small place of their own, honestly, let the parents enjoy their peace time that they well and truly deserve on their own. Especially having a teenager in the home as well. Your home is just uprooted.

My mum said no! No storing stuff in her shed, no moving back after my hubby died. She later passed away. It was all about Work with her, times have changed, women have changed.

think it would not be a solution for my family,too many complications and now also different countries,but i used to think i would take care of my parents,untill they got divorced..

Hi everyone,

Thanks so much for your responses- so interesting to hear all the different views on this topic. I can empathise with all the views on establishing stronger family ties from these circumstances, but can also see the perspective from the parents who need their own space too. I can see myself allowing my kids to stay with me in future, but who knows how I'll feel when I want some peace & quiet! Like all situations, I guess it all depends on the sentiment of the individuals right?

Oh well, if it had been different and I moved in with them, I never would have had a second hubby and daughter.

Chookchook2 I to felt sad reading your story, and I take my hat off to your mum for being up front, but like I said earlier, I have 7 siblings. After the sister that lived with mum & Dad moved out, she left all her stuff in our parents shed for 3 yrs! Honestly we all get on very well and are always there for our parents, as they are for us. So when ANOTHER sister sold her house, as she to had a marriage breakup, also wanted to go stay with our parents. Of course my parents said yes again, till we reminded them what it was like previously. Sorry, but moving back into your parents home as an adult, the parents are treated like the child. Like I said we come from a loving family and all 8 siblings get along, but no, not to move into our parents home. They've had their time bringing up their kids. Once kids grow AS adults, it just doesn't work. You can be the most caring adult sibling, but going back to live with your parents as an adult - Just doesn't work for the parents. To many chiefs and not enough Indians. They keep it all bottled up, in fear they will upset you. I've seen it with friends families also. Same scenario. Leave your parents be.

Terri, we all have different family situations and I just wanted to add another point of view. We began renovating our home of 25 years in 2013 after a long time working on what our needs and wants should be. Over the course of time raising our family the house had evolved through 2 other renos to cater for changing needs & as funds became available.

Our last renovation was a major one and included the option of using part of the house to cater for aging parents. In particular my father in law who we hoped would spend periods of time staying with us as he was on his own and this would allow us more quality time with him. Unfortunately he passed away last April before we had finished. The house however is now able to cater for family and friends in a semi independent way if need be with a kitchenette, ground level rooms are multipurpose and can be used like a granny flat. Separate entry, study and bathroom beside bed room can be closed off as a small living space connected to the rumpus with the kitchenette. We will if needed be able to offer that to our other aging parents.

All the best to you and others, our home is always open to family if they need us, Louise.

Louise I think that is lovely, and it was sad that you didn't get to live with your Father in Law, and ChookyChooky2 I am glad for your second husband and child!

Loiuse Your in put is great. Please, I think it's different when your parents need to come and live with their family. It's their choice. And it's great you can have a sep living quarters for them. I would have my parents move in with me in a heartbeat it they felt they needed to move. I'm explaining when the family go and live with the grandparents. I've seen it a few to many times with the most loving of families, and the pressure and stress all parties go under.

So true Terri, I too have seen families torn apart through misunderstandings and even not speaking to each other for years. So sad they miss out on little ones growing up etc. and it really breaks my heart that families could come to that, especially in today's hectic world where family support is critical.

I understand your point completely, Louise

aazsss`

I had a job to keep my mind occupied, used to cry in the ladies toilet, then come out and get on with it. The job was only temporary but it came at the right time, really.

No, you are a sweet person.

Bump.

I don't think I can move back in with my parents..and once my kids are older I don't think they can live with us..

I have had my mother in law stayed with us before ..2 days at a time was fine then she came to stay for 2 weeks ..after one week I moved out ..we were fighting all the time ..me and hubby..in the end I left him a letter explaining why..because I didn't want him to have to take sides lol

my dad didn't talk to me for weeks for loss of face..my parents asked me when I'm older and what happens if my son's wife did that to me?

I'd never expect my son to choose me over his wife..lol may be it's me I've seen plenty that I wouldn't wish on another female..

my kids have all been brought up to be independent ..they are also very strong willed and stubborn as..so no thanks

we've worked hard ..the rental we just bought is for them when they are older and have jobs I'm kicking all of my three kids out into the rental lol

I want time to go travelling ..peace and quiet ..