What look are you hoping to achieve? When you say 'update' can you elaborate?This kitchen looks new. Compared to my old Barbie pink, laminate, falling apart beast, this is a dream! I personally would never paint a kitchen myself- especially not one like this. Lots of sharp edges means lots of future chips/scratches. If it is 2-pack poly you could get it resprayed. I can see scope to change the cabinet pulls, add a plant or 2 to the shelves, bigreaders suggestions about moulding are awesome. Even if you got a cabinet maker to pull out the open-shelves and replace them with a timber or timber-laminate as a contrast. All this would soften it and add personality. I can see your roller blind on the window- changing that to a roman blind with a pattern/texture/colour through it would add character too.

Really hard to tell. I like the lightest one but I'm not very adventurous. You may need to choose one and paint a larger area and see what you think.

Yeah I know what you mean... I have to paint it anyway as it needs repainting and the colour that is there has a pink undertone which really bothers me. not a pink person at all... So you would suggest just staying with an antique white or something and just adding all my colour with accessories?

This is a very personal choice as dreamer mentioned. You can order tile samples from tile cloud or TileMall for $15 for 5. Pick some options you like and put up in the kitchen next to the other elements. You will soon know which one you love the most 👍🏻