I found a website that might be quite helpful for you http://www.colourtouch.com.au/ to visualise what colours and finishes could look like on your house. You can choose a style of house that closely matches yours then choose a number of set schemes, or start with a blank canvas and play around with any colour / finish you like.

Colour is a whole-of-house thing ie it begins at your letterbox and ends at the back fence! When I work with clients I assess their personal colour type and make recommendations from there. Often people will add just one colour eg red, as an accent and use it throughout the home...red pots at the front door, splashback, cushions, throw rug on the bed etc. Personally I prefer to use two colours to spice up a neutral scheme. They may be complementary eg red/green or analogous eg green and blue. The trick is alternating which is the more used colour in different rooms. Taubmans have a formula of 60/30/10 - the bright, intense accent colours should not make up more than 10% of your scheme. Never go 50/50 it always looks out of whack. Pick two colours that you both like, and find pictures on houzz as well as Pinterest for ideas.

One thing you might want to consider too is the finish of the bench top. Even though dark colours absorb light if you have a shiny coating on your bench top it might give you that glare effect. We have a dark green laminated bench top. And we get a lot on sun in the morning and the bench top is quite resonates a lot of glare. Opt for a matt finish in a material that won't throw a lot of light back. I have attached a photo of our bench top to give you an idea of what I mean

Thank you even the deck poles? and the front deck has been stained should we paint that or leave it stained? should we paint around the door ironstone ? sorry lol i have no idea