Everybody Needs Good Neighbours: 10 Ways to Keep the Peace
Don't underestimate the power of a good relationship with your neighbour... it could be the key to living happily ever after
Seeing people bringing a ladder or power tool from a neighbour’s house to theirs is a common sight on my street. In the evenings, many of us sit outside on the front porch relaxing, and catch up with others who walk by with their dogs or are just out for an evening stroll. When our chooks escaped into a neighbour’s yard, not only were they not angry, but they helped me round up the hens and toss them back over the fence.
Getting along (or not getting along) with neighbours can make a huge impact on our daily lives and how we feel about our home and neighbourhood. Whether you live in the city, the country or somewhere in between, learning the art of being neighbourly is something that can benefit us all. Here are eight ways to navigate the etiquette of being a good neighbour. When you’re done reading, go pour yourself something tasty to drink and sit on the porch for a spell.
Getting along (or not getting along) with neighbours can make a huge impact on our daily lives and how we feel about our home and neighbourhood. Whether you live in the city, the country or somewhere in between, learning the art of being neighbourly is something that can benefit us all. Here are eight ways to navigate the etiquette of being a good neighbour. When you’re done reading, go pour yourself something tasty to drink and sit on the porch for a spell.
2. Be considerate about noise
As a rule, keep music and loud outdoor conversations down after 9 p.m., and try not to start up the power tools or leaf blower before 8 or 9 a.m.. If you are planning a party, try to let your neighbours know in advance – and if you enjoy throwing frequent parties, it’s not a bad idea to invite your neighbours to one!
If it’s your neighbours who are being too noisy, your first step should be a polite knock on the door. Tell them, without sounding angry, that you understand they are having a great time, have friends visiting etc., but it’s getting too loud for you, and could they please turn the music down or take the party indoors after a time you feel is appropriate? Be sure to thank them when they do what you’ve asked.
Tell us your worst noisy neighbour stories
As a rule, keep music and loud outdoor conversations down after 9 p.m., and try not to start up the power tools or leaf blower before 8 or 9 a.m.. If you are planning a party, try to let your neighbours know in advance – and if you enjoy throwing frequent parties, it’s not a bad idea to invite your neighbours to one!
If it’s your neighbours who are being too noisy, your first step should be a polite knock on the door. Tell them, without sounding angry, that you understand they are having a great time, have friends visiting etc., but it’s getting too loud for you, and could they please turn the music down or take the party indoors after a time you feel is appropriate? Be sure to thank them when they do what you’ve asked.
Tell us your worst noisy neighbour stories
3. Deal with problems in person
Just as when your neighbours are being too noisy, any other problem should be addressed promptly and in person. It may seem easier to write a note or dash off an email, but written complaints can seem more mean spirited than you intended, and may shut down communication with that neighbour in the future. Give your neighbour a chance to hear what you have to say in a face-to-face chat, and then listen to his or her side as well.
Remember, your neighbour is, in all likelihood, not going anywhere, so even if you do not particularly like him or her, it is in your interest to find a way to get through it together.
On a related note, don’t gossip about other neighbours! It may feel like bonding to complain about shared problems, but gossiping generally only deteriorates relationships.
Just as when your neighbours are being too noisy, any other problem should be addressed promptly and in person. It may seem easier to write a note or dash off an email, but written complaints can seem more mean spirited than you intended, and may shut down communication with that neighbour in the future. Give your neighbour a chance to hear what you have to say in a face-to-face chat, and then listen to his or her side as well.
Remember, your neighbour is, in all likelihood, not going anywhere, so even if you do not particularly like him or her, it is in your interest to find a way to get through it together.
On a related note, don’t gossip about other neighbours! It may feel like bonding to complain about shared problems, but gossiping generally only deteriorates relationships.
4. Be reasonable about pets
This can be a big point of contention among neighbours, so try to tread lightly whether you are the pet owner or the one being bothered by a neighbour’s pets. If something happens once or twice – loud barking, dog poo on your lawn etc. – take a deep breath (well, maybe step away from the poo first …) and let it go. If there is an ongoing problem, discuss it directly with your neighbour. Even if you are upset, try to think of something kind to say about your neighbour’s pet before launching into the complaint section of your talk.
For pet owners, if a neighbour approaches you with a complaint about your animals, do your best to listen and acknowledge their feelings. Assure them you will do what you can to remedy the situation – scoop the poop, keep your dog on a leash, repair the fence and pay for training if needed.
This can be a big point of contention among neighbours, so try to tread lightly whether you are the pet owner or the one being bothered by a neighbour’s pets. If something happens once or twice – loud barking, dog poo on your lawn etc. – take a deep breath (well, maybe step away from the poo first …) and let it go. If there is an ongoing problem, discuss it directly with your neighbour. Even if you are upset, try to think of something kind to say about your neighbour’s pet before launching into the complaint section of your talk.
For pet owners, if a neighbour approaches you with a complaint about your animals, do your best to listen and acknowledge their feelings. Assure them you will do what you can to remedy the situation – scoop the poop, keep your dog on a leash, repair the fence and pay for training if needed.
If you have more unusual pets, such as chickens, it is wise to contact neighbours early on to inform and educate them about their new animal neighbours, and assure them you are taking steps to care for the animals properly so they won’t be a problem — that would also probably be a good time to hand over a basket of fresh eggs! And always, always let neighbours know they can come to you if your pets are being a nuisance.
5. Respect common spaces and shared walls
Keep shared hallways, entrances, and common rooms in your apartment or building clear of personal belongings. Even though space may be tight inside your unit, it’s important to find another place for that pram or bicycle – crowded common areas can become a fire hazard, or at least a tripping hazard.
If you share walls (or a floor or ceiling) with neighbours, try to keep noise down to a reasonable level all the time, not just late in the evening. If you live upstairs, consider using area rugs over hard flooring to muffle the noise of footsteps – a common complaint among downstairs neighbours.
Keep shared hallways, entrances, and common rooms in your apartment or building clear of personal belongings. Even though space may be tight inside your unit, it’s important to find another place for that pram or bicycle – crowded common areas can become a fire hazard, or at least a tripping hazard.
If you share walls (or a floor or ceiling) with neighbours, try to keep noise down to a reasonable level all the time, not just late in the evening. If you live upstairs, consider using area rugs over hard flooring to muffle the noise of footsteps – a common complaint among downstairs neighbours.
Outdoor spaces in apartment buildings are often quite close together, so be aware of your drifting barbecue smoke – gas grills may be best in tight quarters. If you smoke, be respectful by not smoking where others may get secondhand smoke, and don’t leave your cigarettes lying around.
6. Keep your front yard tidy
There is no need to get into a competition with neighbours over who has the greenest lawn, but keeping up a basic level of tidiness will be appreciated by all. Put your rubbish and recycling cans back promptly after they have been collected, keep grass mowed and weeds pulled, and try to avoid storing too many belongings on your porch, verandah or in the driveway.
7. Follow local parking etiquette
Always try to park in front of your own house if possible, and never block neighbours’ driveways.
There is no need to get into a competition with neighbours over who has the greenest lawn, but keeping up a basic level of tidiness will be appreciated by all. Put your rubbish and recycling cans back promptly after they have been collected, keep grass mowed and weeds pulled, and try to avoid storing too many belongings on your porch, verandah or in the driveway.
7. Follow local parking etiquette
Always try to park in front of your own house if possible, and never block neighbours’ driveways.
8. Build community
Building good relationships with neighbours often comes down to the little things. If your garden produces a bumper crop of tomatoes, bring a basket next door to share. Trade tools and skills. Be generous with smiles and be willing to lend a hand if it’s needed. And you don’t need to be part of a neighbourhood watch-equivalent scheme to help keep your neighbourhood feel a bit safer – simply knowing your neighbours and occasionally chatting with them can go a long way. Let your immediate neighbours know if you are going away, and whether you will be having anyone stay at your home while you are gone.
If your neighbourhood doesn’t already have any events, consider organising one. Annual events like a street party, an open house or a yard sale are a great way to build a sense of community and get to know your neighbours.
TELL US
Please share your tales of neighbourliness in the comments!
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Building good relationships with neighbours often comes down to the little things. If your garden produces a bumper crop of tomatoes, bring a basket next door to share. Trade tools and skills. Be generous with smiles and be willing to lend a hand if it’s needed. And you don’t need to be part of a neighbourhood watch-equivalent scheme to help keep your neighbourhood feel a bit safer – simply knowing your neighbours and occasionally chatting with them can go a long way. Let your immediate neighbours know if you are going away, and whether you will be having anyone stay at your home while you are gone.
If your neighbourhood doesn’t already have any events, consider organising one. Annual events like a street party, an open house or a yard sale are a great way to build a sense of community and get to know your neighbours.
TELL US
Please share your tales of neighbourliness in the comments!
MORE
Private Property: Stylish Ways to Boost the Privacy of Your Home
Window Wizardry: 7 Clever Approaches to Privacy
All Fenced in: Find the Right Style For Your Backyard
If you are new to the neighbourhood, a friendly smile and hello can go a long way toward establishing rapport with neighbours. Introduce yourself when you run into a neighbour you haven’t met yet. And if you’ve been there a while and someone new has just moved in, a small gift, like home-baked goods (or a treat from a favourite local shop), is a thoughtful way to welcome him or her.