Moving In Together: 12 Tips for a Smooth (and Peaceful) Transition
Combining households can be tricky, but these pointers will help make merging all of your stuff under one roof so much easier
If you are planning to merge two households, you may need to address everything from duplicate items and treasured family heirlooms to furnishings of questionable taste (and plenty of clutter). Moving in together, while exciting, can also potentially be the cause of some heated arguments and hurt feelings if tastes and housekeeping styles clash. Be proactive and pave the way for a smooth transition with these helpful tips.
2. Take ample photos and measurements of your new place
Even if it means making an extra appointment to go back, do it! Having the measurements and images to refer to while you’re planning will be invaluable and save plenty of headaches (and arguments) on moving day, helping you avoid situations like the couch failing to fit through a doorway.
Even if it means making an extra appointment to go back, do it! Having the measurements and images to refer to while you’re planning will be invaluable and save plenty of headaches (and arguments) on moving day, helping you avoid situations like the couch failing to fit through a doorway.
3. Take the easy road
Pick and choose favourites from each person’s belongings first, setting aside the things you both love or need. It feels good to start off on an agreeable note. And when you come to a point of contention ("How could you possibly like that chair?") simply agree to disagree (for now) and revisit the issue at a later date.
Pick and choose favourites from each person’s belongings first, setting aside the things you both love or need. It feels good to start off on an agreeable note. And when you come to a point of contention ("How could you possibly like that chair?") simply agree to disagree (for now) and revisit the issue at a later date.
4. Get rid of duplicates
Size up every last item and choose the best example: the sharpest, highest-quality knives, the best mixer, etc. It can be tempting to keep multiples just because they are high quality, but bear in mind the amount of cupboard and closet space in your new abode before burdening yourselves with excess stuff. Set a date to give away or sell the duplicates you will not be keeping, and stick to it.
Size up every last item and choose the best example: the sharpest, highest-quality knives, the best mixer, etc. It can be tempting to keep multiples just because they are high quality, but bear in mind the amount of cupboard and closet space in your new abode before burdening yourselves with excess stuff. Set a date to give away or sell the duplicates you will not be keeping, and stick to it.
5. Restrain yourself from criticising family heirlooms
A lot of emotion can be attached to pieces that have been handed down in a family. Not to mention they tend to be high quality and worth keeping. If a piece of furniture is not your style or feels a bit fusty and outdated, try mixing it up with fresh cushions or drawer pulls.
A lot of emotion can be attached to pieces that have been handed down in a family. Not to mention they tend to be high quality and worth keeping. If a piece of furniture is not your style or feels a bit fusty and outdated, try mixing it up with fresh cushions or drawer pulls.
6. Handle differences gently
Does your partner love something you can’t stand? Trying to force him or her to get rid of something near and dear is likely to backfire, causing resentment and hurt feelings. Begin the conversation by empathising with your partner about the love for the piece in question, and then state your case in a straightforward, nonjudgmental way. Before giving in (or causing a major row) see if he or she wouldn’t mind having the piece repainted, refinished or re-covered with new material to update it and help it fit in better with your other decor. Or suggest putting the item in question in a room that’s more out of the way. Remind your partner that you are also willing to compromise on something important to you.
Does your partner love something you can’t stand? Trying to force him or her to get rid of something near and dear is likely to backfire, causing resentment and hurt feelings. Begin the conversation by empathising with your partner about the love for the piece in question, and then state your case in a straightforward, nonjudgmental way. Before giving in (or causing a major row) see if he or she wouldn’t mind having the piece repainted, refinished or re-covered with new material to update it and help it fit in better with your other decor. Or suggest putting the item in question in a room that’s more out of the way. Remind your partner that you are also willing to compromise on something important to you.
7. Take time before the move to plan room schemes
This doesn’t need to get complicated. Just talk through each room in the new place and discuss where you will put what. It may be helpful to make some rough sketches or take notes so you remember what you decide on. Refer to the photos and measurements you took during your home tour or open house.
This doesn’t need to get complicated. Just talk through each room in the new place and discuss where you will put what. It may be helpful to make some rough sketches or take notes so you remember what you decide on. Refer to the photos and measurements you took during your home tour or open house.
8. Edit your closets beforehand
Be honest with each other about how much square footage you are used to having for your clothes and accessories. If there are too many clothes to fit everything in the bedroom closet at once, try sorting your clothes and accessories based on the seasons and store out-of-season stuff in a less accessible spot. You can also move bulky, heavy items like shoes and coats to a secondary closet outside the bedroom. If you don’t have an obvious place for extra clothing storage, try installing high shelves over doorways or keep slim boxes under the bed.
Be honest with each other about how much square footage you are used to having for your clothes and accessories. If there are too many clothes to fit everything in the bedroom closet at once, try sorting your clothes and accessories based on the seasons and store out-of-season stuff in a less accessible spot. You can also move bulky, heavy items like shoes and coats to a secondary closet outside the bedroom. If you don’t have an obvious place for extra clothing storage, try installing high shelves over doorways or keep slim boxes under the bed.
9. Discuss working habits and requirements for a home office
Do you or your partner work best in peace, or would you welcome a little company? Avoid potential conflicts by addressing this issue now, especially if one or both of you work from home.
Do you or your partner work best in peace, or would you welcome a little company? Avoid potential conflicts by addressing this issue now, especially if one or both of you work from home.
10. Rotate small decorative pieces for fairness and to keep things fresh
Like rotating clothes on a seasonal basis, consider swapping out decor every few months, incorporating pieces from each of your collections. Keep what’s not currently being used in storage bins with lids, tucked in an out-of-the-way closet or in the basement.
Like rotating clothes on a seasonal basis, consider swapping out decor every few months, incorporating pieces from each of your collections. Keep what’s not currently being used in storage bins with lids, tucked in an out-of-the-way closet or in the basement.
11. Keep an open mind
Sometimes context makes all the difference. That neon sign that seems tacky in your partner’s current apartment could read as ironic and cool in your new home together, when paired with a subtle colour palette and the sleek, midcentury finds you like to hunt for together on weekends. If your significant other is dead set on keeping something that is not your style, agree to at least try it in the new place – with the understanding that you do have veto power if it doesn’t work out. Of course, you will have to be willing to do the same for your partner.
Sometimes context makes all the difference. That neon sign that seems tacky in your partner’s current apartment could read as ironic and cool in your new home together, when paired with a subtle colour palette and the sleek, midcentury finds you like to hunt for together on weekends. If your significant other is dead set on keeping something that is not your style, agree to at least try it in the new place – with the understanding that you do have veto power if it doesn’t work out. Of course, you will have to be willing to do the same for your partner.
12. Mix it up with an art wall that is a joint effort
Break the ice in the new place by combining your posters, prints and other artwork in a collaborative gallery wall that mixes and matches both of your tastes.
TELL US
Share your best story about merging two sets of stuff into one in the Comments section!
MORE
8 Things to Discuss Before Moving in Together
5 Decluttering Mistakes and How to Avoid Them
Tried-And-True Tips and Tricks for Tiny Homes Across the Globe
Break the ice in the new place by combining your posters, prints and other artwork in a collaborative gallery wall that mixes and matches both of your tastes.
TELL US
Share your best story about merging two sets of stuff into one in the Comments section!
MORE
8 Things to Discuss Before Moving in Together
5 Decluttering Mistakes and How to Avoid Them
Tried-And-True Tips and Tricks for Tiny Homes Across the Globe
Be respectful of each other and acknowledge right from the beginning that sharing space (and making decisions about what stays and what goes) can be an emotional process. When you have something to say that could be perceived as criticism, try framing it in a positive statement. For instance, “I do love how comfy that chair is, but it’s been through a lot. I bet we could extend its life – and make it go better with the rest of our stuff – if we had it re-covered. What do you think?”