It really depends on your style and what sort of mood you want to create in the room. Warm white is more flattering for skin tones, more romantic and more intimate and is traditionally used in bedrooms and living areas. Cool white is recommended for food presentation, task work and generally used in kitchens and bathrooms. Perhaps one of the new gen adjustable light bulb systems could work for both of you - http://www2.meethue.com/en-us/

I would really recommend warm white in a dining room.

I'm a big fan of warm white in the dining room (mainly because I'm living with cool white and not enjoying the feeling!)

Without knowing anything about the connecting areas, I'd go for warm white as it's more intimate and would suit the atmosphere of a dining room.

I put white downlights into our house on recommendation from the lighting shop and they said just put dimmers in to get the same effect. It doesn't have the same effect and really wish I had gone with warm lights throughout house. I find the white lights also too harsh in every room, except maybe in kitchen ok, but think even there I should have gone warm. They apparently put the same aount of light out, just looks cosier, but then again the same person told me to put white lights in.

Warm lights. Gives the feeling of an old fashioned lightbulb compared with cool light which is more like a fluorescent tube's light.

Thanks everyone, we are going with warm white!

There are typically more temperatures of 'white' than just warm or cool. We use a neutral daylight LED (which is between the warm and cool LED shades) across the house.

I would actually look at a few things, first, do you have other lighting sources? This comes into play if you have a central pendant light or floor lamps in the middle of LED downlights. It can really throw off an effect you may wish to create if they have two temperatures. We have a central pendant that is warm, and the downlights are neutral. I only ever use one set of lights at a time so it isn't a big deal. The pendant creates a warm welcome feeling and I use it for dinner parties and rich warm and spicy foods. The downlights I use for serving fish and Japanese foods, things that are about the presentation and the content, where a light that is more central or blue gives the food a clean fresh look. Restaurants will often design their lighting schemes around the style of food they serve.

Secondarily, what shade is the wall and your furnishings? Warm whites look better with rich historical or industrial looks, jewel and brown tones. Cool whites look better with grays, blues and modern clean lines. Mid range daylight and similar temperature lights are good compromises.