I'd consider putting the corner sofa and TV stand in the dining room, moving the stand-alone chair and footstool and tall lamp near the stove as a "reading nook" and placing the dining table in the living room, leaving enough for a walkway from the entry to the current dining / possible living room. In terms of the actual furniture, everything other than the colour of the dining chair fabric looks pretty good. I would start by decluttering and removing anything that isn't functional or which you don't find aesthetically pleasing. I'd personally remove the mirror in the bar as I don't think it gels very well, the tiny framed art near the stove, the art on the wall near the TV as it's too small and hung too closely and the drum kit (unless the drum kit is used on a daily basis). I really like the Marimekko print and, IF you like it, then I would use it as inspiration for adding colour to each of the rooms, possibly even a "feature" wall using the bright blue from the print (although I'm not a huge fan of feature walls). A few minor changes may also help, like replacing the blown bulb in the wall sconce, storing the ironing board somewhere else and taking down the "hanging" glasses in the bar area as they're visual clutter right at eye line height.

I think you have been watching too many reality TV shows that paint women as territorial princesses. A relationship is a partnership too, it is not just about love and trust, it is also about respect and consideration and having empathy for the other person's feelings and needs, two people living and working together for the good of each other. Each partner will have strengths and weaknesses and complimenting each other in this regard makes for a good relationship provided respect, empathy and consideration is shown, so no one partner should dominate in any aspect to this degree or even think about it. Even the most design challenged person should have some say in the environment they live in.

my suggestions are based on zoning the areas for multiple cooks and helpers and has a bar open to the living area from both ends with an optional privacy door between bar and pantry and no door between kitchen and pantry, the island should be much narrower for quick meals and the arrangement of drawers and supporting post under the island allow for cook's stool spacebtw, unless you prefer to iron in the laundry the laundry and mudroom seem a little generous at the expense of the small study that could also be a useful downstairs emergency sick room

You said you loved the concept design but then the estimates came in too high. Find some more money so you can do it or do what the architect has suggested by going single storey. We all see some quite bland designs, standard fit out, cookie cutter as you noted; this is all due to budget being too low for the brief. Plenty of Projects all get watered down so they're affordable. Plenty of additions to dwellings can just be expensive to achieve. Do some quick calculations yourself - minimum $2500+ per square metre of new added space for bog standard fit out. Add in the bathroom at $20k, kitchen at $20k, laundry $8k, staircase at $15k, fire rated walls between existing and new, upgrading existing dwelling...... plenty of architect designed residential homes are pushing $5k per square metre. This is not really 100% accurate just ballpark figures to get started on so we don't end with a project we can't afford. It just adds up real quick. The designer should have known budget up front and worked to that or at least been within 10% at this early stage. Build costs between builders shouldn't be that far apart unless one is missing something so I wouldn't bother builder shopping with plans missing vital construction details just yet. If you're unhappy with current architect, move on to another. Why not consider a building designer or a local draftsman perhaps.